the monologue.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

♥ 10:04

aha! it's the 31st of dec, that makes it a year alr!
i missed you.
it's always been so.

so i wrote a song, just for you.
a song of how i feel towards you.
love. perseverence. confusion.
and finally letting go, maybe.

or rather, keeping it deep down? hahah.

whatever it is, here goes~

hidden love

my intuition somehow fails
when it comes to you
my eyes kept looking around
to chance upon you
my mind just can't place you aside

it's been too long for me
not to realize
this is the hardest thing
to let go of
it's been hanging there
for a little too long to go on

i believe people meet for a reason
it probably isn't our season
but thanks for the handshake
thanks for the smile
thanks for all that you've made me feel

it's been too long for me
not to realize
there's nothing i can do
it's been hanging there
for a little too long to go on

and here i am
keeping you deep inside
this heart of mine
'cos all the love i feel for you inside
just won't go away
and to me
you're the best i will never have

'cause it's been too long
way too long
hanging there with just nothing
nothing to hold on
i can't make you feel the same
like me
when you don't

so long
my love

woots! it's gona be '09 in some 10++ hours' time.

ok so '08 has been a rather not-so-smooth yr for me.

first with my knee op,
family matters,
the cold palace,

unfortunate meeting of lunatic,
etc etc.
but well, there are gd times too.
just that bad times adds up more than gd ones.

im glad that i was able to take a peek under the mask of some faces.
as the saying goes; don't judge a book by it's cover.
observe carefully so as not to be deceived by two-faced humans
or rather double-sided tapes.
right sandfly?
(that's my dear sis. can call her stone or prawn or shufz. hahahahh. ;) )

on a lighter note,
im so happy that we bongs are still keeping in contact. =D
i really really enjoy the times we spent together.
y'all have taught and shown me many new things.

y'all have always been there for me.
every meet with y'all is filled with fun and laughter.
thks guys!
love y'all! =DD

and not forgetting my budd, ernest.
for listening and giving me advices.
and weilong,
for listening and offering to help.

most importantly, i wana thank
my dear family and the lil rascals, faith n grace,
for bringing joy to my life.
what'll i do if i haven't got you lot! =DD

and now im so looking forward to '09.
hope it'll be a better year.
(shufz, shaz, cla, u know what i meant lah uh. ;) )

have a great year ahead everyone! =)

dear grace was so excited to show us her pre-school performance video. =D

photographer - grace. hahaha.

she wants us to show our teeth together. teehee.

to think i might not see
those eyes
makes it so hard
not to cry
and as we say our
long goodbye
i nearly do

Monday, December 29, 2008

♥ 16:08

this post shall wrap up what i've watched recently in '08. =)

my girl and i. a terribly sad movie that touches your heart with the feel of a love that isn't fortunate. watch it and you'll understand why.

sad movie. they each have a sad story to tell in this movie. love isn't easy at all. and not all love are happy. i couldn't watch the whole show though. but well, i caught most of it.

not a movie to watch if you've got a weak heart. it's not the gruesome scenes that are interesting, it's the will to fight death through clues and signs.

seems like the movie series is getting more gruesome and the will to live becomes much more challenging. but in the end..

sangdoo let's go to school. intially, u may think that this romantic comedy's not the perfect kind. but as the characters bring you into their life, you'll feel that life's not perfect after all. && love is one thing you cannot avoid, it just comes to you when it feels like it.

kko kko singe tour reality series. (just go to youtube to search for it.) if u're single and watching this, u'd so wana get into a r/s. it's about choice and chance. take it or leave it. bet it or regret. && the bokk bokk jokk game is really addictive. heh heh. =D

a teenage drama. vampires of great resistance. one of a kind love between a vampire and human and his courage to protect her. should have more action scenes though.

a love that is strong enough to travel through heaven, earth and hell. his persistence to see her again even after death.

R is he responsible, E is equality, A is he an adult, L is he loving. who would you choose; one who is a spark or one whom you think you truly love? do you yearn for real love or do you earn it?

look beside you carefully, have you not realize that true love is actually just a step away? would you just give up or fight for it?

daisy. daisy means hidden love. if it takes a long time for love to appear, would you still wait? what would you do if you realized you got mixed up with the person who loves you and the person whom you love and loves you?

a moment to remember. love can even melt a cold heart. what else can love not do? but is love strong enough to live in memories? is it strong enough not to be forgotten?

now that i've tried to
talk to you
and make you understand
all you have to do is
close your eyes
and just reach out your hands
and touch me
hold me close
don't ever let me go

Friday, December 26, 2008

♥ 02:25

and this week..

merry christmas! =)

the yummy mini glass dessert at ritz carlton's greenhouse, where we had our company christmas lunch. well, the food was quite good.

met the bongs to go to pluck at haji lane, for some ice cream.

at long last, i had sakae with the family. =D

xmas dinner at vei's house! well, we substituted turkey with chicken.
red wine, checked.
chocolates, checked.
eclair, checked.
roasted chicken, checked.
asparagus wrapped in bacon, checked.
pasta, checked.
root beer/coke float, checked.
curry chicken with bread, checked.

look at the phone, apparently, huili has alot of patience. hahahha. shaz; best teacher award. heh heh. oh and do i look less intimidating with that pair of specs? hahahah.

sparlers sparklers~

thks for all the fun and food bongs! love y'all! =DD

i don't want a lot for christmas
this is all i'm asking for
i just wanna see my baby
standing right outside my door
i just want you for my own
more than you could ever know
make my wish come true
baby, all I want for christmas is you

all i want for christmas is you~
baby~

5 more days.

light up, light up
as if you have a choice
even if you
cannot hear my voice
i'll be right beside you
dear

♥ 01:52

not too long ago..

the stone psycho-ed me to go to kenaris for a haircut with her. our hair not that straight ok, looks nice cus it's blown dry.

drinks at thumper.

peranakan day!

dad reserved a table at swissotel mercant court's ellenborough market cafe just cus they have peranakan food. obviously, it's for mum to try their buah keluak.

and of course, they have other foods as well.

not forgetting desserts! but i still preferred raffles hotel's food and desserts!

heh heh in what ways do we look alike? hahahahah!

and dinner, peranakan food again! but this time, the food's much tastier. =D

if only
i could see you now
if only
you could be here
in my arms
how can you find someone
but lose the one thing
that you wanted
wanted the most

♥ 01:30

a couple of weeks ago..

met up with R and bongs at npalumni for dinner, thks R for the treat! =D

dark cherry mocha was damned good! well, the bongs and i have alot of calculations to do.

yours truly bought dinner for the family at vivo's sushi tei! and of course they enjoyed it. teehee.

then on sunday, the lil rascals and us brought gonggong n grandma to botanical gardens.

then on a public holiday (i think), we were invited to the lil rascals' house for some popcorns.

and yes, i get to see my lil bf, dynes and his sis dera. =DD

happy 21st huili! =)

take it to the heart
for real
take it to the place
where love can heal
i'm ready to go there

Friday, December 12, 2008

♥ 00:07

sometimes it's really good to take a walk alone. to think through a million things that crossed ur mind. it's pretty amazing sometimes; u think so deep into something, then an hour or so later, u dont really get back what u have thought.

during that pretty long walk, all i could think of is the day we met; which was coming to a year ago. the heart-wrenching melody of my love by jung chul kept replaying in my ears through my earpieces while my toes hurt as i take one step after another.

if i could turn back time, i would turn it back to the 31st of dec a million times, just to see ur face and feel the warmth in ur handshake. i know it seems meaningless and a waste of time to hold on to that day. but that was the day i felt a special umm emotion i never felt before. it's astonishing, how this emotion can last for so long and sinking deeper as the days passed.

im quite fickle actually, so i guess u're the best that i never will have.

slow way down
this break down's
eating me alive
and i'm tired
this fire's fighting
to survive